What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What! how could you do that?

True - how I loved my mum!

How do I convince flat earthers that the earth is round?

What do you mean son?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

In my experience, British people are fat, ugly and arrogant. Why is it and can it be changed?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Gen X, millennials are about three times more likely than their parents to be diagnosed with appendix cancer, study finds - CNN

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What is one fantasy you have never told anyone about but really want to do?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Do you know what she said mum?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Is Jesus God almighty?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.